


The Birthday Test

by FairyNiamh



Category: Original Work
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Party, Dark, Drabble, Gen, Grimdark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who will get to sit at the Birthday Boy's right hand?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birthday Test

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a Birthday present to myself. Alludes to the Birthday Boy being of noble birth.

Candles dotted the top of the cake liberally doused with rum, just waiting to be lit (we shan’t count the candles atop the cake, nor discuss them in any fashion; it’s not a polite subject during a party. Especially in front of the Birthday Boy.) Settings for each guest were in place around the table; ten in total, hats, cups, plates, a balloon waiting to be inflated, and a tiny box upon each plate. A simple party gift for the ones chosen to sit in the nine empty chairs (Of course the Birthday Boy’s place setting had a box that was larger than the rest.) 

There is excitement in he air, as each of the guests gather and lay their offering at the feet of the Birthday Boy. Each hoping that their gift would be the best gift he would receive. (After all, giving the best gift had wonderful rewards, such as sitting at the Birthday Boy’s right hand, a place of great importance.)

The first gift was okay. Not great for sure, an offering of cake; no special filling, no rum, no hidden secret, and he had his birthday cake already – so boo to the cake. Surely a baker would and should have presented a better gift than the . The second a knife; sharp enough to shave with and had a decent poisoned tip. The third an offer of a wife; he's had one before and she was such a bore, he would of course have to dispose of that gift later. He did not need any more servantsaThe fourth a horse; a twelve hand gelding - he wondered if the gift giver was hinting at his short stature. The fifth a rope; not even long enough to hang the foolish man with. The sixth a shilling; of this there was a great insult - he was worth far more than a shilling. The seventh a gold ring with a hidden secret; a fast acting poison, the best gift so far. The eighth a perfume more sinister than wonderful - did they take him as a simpleton to be easily offed with an obvious trap? The ninth an honest and kind word - 'You are by far more sinister this year. I wonder how the Queen managed, but she was always a bit clumsy. The fall that broke her neck was entirely of her own doing. Your next wife should have eyes only for you. If her eyes stray they should be plucked out by a hungry crow.'

The ninth gift was chosen for the best to be given and she sat upon the right hand chair while the rest filled the empty seats around the table and opened the boxes on their plates. Knowing that inside would determine their fate. The way the Birthday Boy and his sister (who happened to be the ninth guest) would do away with the others who had failed his birthday test.

~Fin~


End file.
